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Announcing Phenolic Cupping and a New Certification

While googling to see why the life extension claim that patented healthy roast coffee has more antioxidants than other roast coffee, I found the following information.  It seems they extract the phenolic compounds (which are highly antioxidant and therefore very healthy), from green coffee and add them back in after roasting. I wonder then if a coffee cupping as phenolic is in fact better in terms of health and not a defect as we have experienced, but in fact a super food coffee????

What next? 

Let me tell you. I am ramping up with a new Certification. Yup, just when we thought there cannot possibly be anything else to certify. I will for a fee, certify a coffee as: Certified Bolognee. For example, you have just paid $400+ for a pound of coffee from Costa Rica that was eaten and pooped by a bat. Bats in Costa Rica are slightly smaller than a hummingbird. Picture one of these eating coffee cherries and pooping out the processed,  and I suppose fermented, beans in quantity. Of course before the process can start the cherry must be forced into the bat.

Ok who knows? You ask if you were screwed… now you can find out. Send me a sample and I will submit it for DNA testing for the bat evidence. Fee: $2500 plus testing cost or 50% or your purchase price. For this: Your coffee is “Certified Bolognee”.

Or not. At least you can sleep.

Cheers Jim  V. Ashon

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