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I want to buy a coffee with an app – how hard can it be?

From www.theregister.co.uk

Something for the Weekend, Sir? I can’t get it up. Give me a few moments and I’ll try again. Yes, I have tried rubbing it but thanks for the suggestion. What’s that? I’m grasping it too firmly? Or I’m flashing in the wrong direction? Tell you what, I’ll keep fiddling with it while you satisfy one of your other customers.

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