Eight O’Clock Coffee Releases Treasured, Centuries Old Coffee Secret

(February 22, 2016, Montvale, N.J.) – Today, Eight O’Clock Coffee lifted a centuries old veil of secrecy that has surrounded the coffee industry. Coffeehouses of all sizes have braced for the impact of this scalding announcement, and Q2 projections for drip-and-mortar stores are expected to adjust accordingly in response.

In a video released today (, Eight O’Clock Coffee revealed the secret to getting coffee shop taste at home: freshly ground coffee. By purchasing whole bean coffee and grinding the beans right before brewing, consumers can get that fresh coffee taste they are looking for, while staying in their pajamas.

Eight O’Clock Coffee’s VP of Secret Keeping, who asked to remain anonymous, boasted in a press conference, “We’re giving the power back to the people, allowing everyone to experience the ultimate joy of coffee in the comfort of their homes.” He or she continued, “This knowledge is too powerful to only keep in the hands of the few. There’s no reason to spend lavishly when all in-home coffeehouses are capable of grinding their own whole beans and brewing the perfect cup of coffee.”

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